Post by Johnny Gotham on Jan 2, 2005 19:02:23 GMT -5
They do, they do.
Conspiracy theorists have long known about the existence of a cult-like organization calling themselves the stone cutters, who believe themselves to be the rightful decendants of the miners who cut the stones for Solomon's temple. They are a 1500 year old secret society, "who, since ancient times, have split the rocks of ignorance that obscure the light of knowledge and truth". Many beleive they are older and more influential that the Masons, and illimuniti combined. They are a worldwide organization, made up of middle to upper class protestant men. Notable members include Steven Gutenburg (who may or may not credit his career to the society), Mr. T, president George Bush Sr., and other world leaders.
The group is said to be in control of the British crown, the supression of the metric system, and secret knowledge of the aliens, and Atlantis. They are lead by several chapter leaders (there are chapters all over the world), each of which goes by the moniker "Number 1". They look foreward to the coming of a chosen, who will be known by a birthmark. When the chosen one arrives, he will be chained to the stone of triumph and made to climb up Mt. Springfield for his corination.
There are only two ways to become a stonecutter, save the life of a stonecutter, or be the son of a stonecutter. Then, new members must go through a series of humilliating and painful initation rituals, including "the crossing of the desert," "the unblinking eye," "the wreck of the hesperin," and "the beating of the swollen ass, with paddles". After which, they swear an oath of allegience, promising that any breaking of the oath will result in the bloating of the stomach, and the head being plucked of all but three hairs. They are then assigned a number based on the order in which they joined. The lower the number, the higher the rank. Any member who reveals the secrets of the stonecutters is forced to have all his robes burned, and is forced to walk home, naked, and wearing the stone of shame.
The stone cutters may also be responsible for the blinding of kingfish, and the rigging of Oscars. They revere the secret parchement, and beer.
Favourite activities include getting drunk and playing ping-pong.
Though many believe the stone cutters disbanded after feelings of displeasment with "chosen one" Homer Simpson, it is believe many members regrouped to form "The no Homers," a sign of spite towards Simpson.
Homer is now believed to have joined "Club Simpson," where only two of the members have special rings.
Conspiracy theorists have long known about the existence of a cult-like organization calling themselves the stone cutters, who believe themselves to be the rightful decendants of the miners who cut the stones for Solomon's temple. They are a 1500 year old secret society, "who, since ancient times, have split the rocks of ignorance that obscure the light of knowledge and truth". Many beleive they are older and more influential that the Masons, and illimuniti combined. They are a worldwide organization, made up of middle to upper class protestant men. Notable members include Steven Gutenburg (who may or may not credit his career to the society), Mr. T, president George Bush Sr., and other world leaders.
The group is said to be in control of the British crown, the supression of the metric system, and secret knowledge of the aliens, and Atlantis. They are lead by several chapter leaders (there are chapters all over the world), each of which goes by the moniker "Number 1". They look foreward to the coming of a chosen, who will be known by a birthmark. When the chosen one arrives, he will be chained to the stone of triumph and made to climb up Mt. Springfield for his corination.
There are only two ways to become a stonecutter, save the life of a stonecutter, or be the son of a stonecutter. Then, new members must go through a series of humilliating and painful initation rituals, including "the crossing of the desert," "the unblinking eye," "the wreck of the hesperin," and "the beating of the swollen ass, with paddles". After which, they swear an oath of allegience, promising that any breaking of the oath will result in the bloating of the stomach, and the head being plucked of all but three hairs. They are then assigned a number based on the order in which they joined. The lower the number, the higher the rank. Any member who reveals the secrets of the stonecutters is forced to have all his robes burned, and is forced to walk home, naked, and wearing the stone of shame.
The stone cutters may also be responsible for the blinding of kingfish, and the rigging of Oscars. They revere the secret parchement, and beer.
Favourite activities include getting drunk and playing ping-pong.
Though many believe the stone cutters disbanded after feelings of displeasment with "chosen one" Homer Simpson, it is believe many members regrouped to form "The no Homers," a sign of spite towards Simpson.
Homer is now believed to have joined "Club Simpson," where only two of the members have special rings.